FALLON: Michael Jackson pleaded not guilty to a Grand Jury indictment charging him with child molestation, adding that if he is guilty of anything, he's "guilty of loving too much...and, maybe a little child molestation."

FEY: Yesterday, in a New Jersey courtroom, former NBA star Jason Williams was acquitted of manslaughter charges, although by all accounts he did pull the trigger in the shooting death of his limo driver.  The verdict sends a clear message that no matter where you live, retired sports stars are allowed to kill you.

(unplanned, interrupting the start of a joke)
Audience member: Jimmy?
FALLON: Yea?
Audience member: Uh, yes, over here.
FALLON: No, I can't answer..yea? I'll talk to you later on, my brotha. Thank you.  I hate when my father gets drunk.

FEY: Ben Affleck is joining Senator Ted Kennedy to campaign for a rise in the American minimum wage. But first..cocktails!

FEY: A lawyer in the Philippines is arguing that cocaine that was found in his client's rooster's cage belonged to the rooster and not his client.  He may have a case cause when the rooster took the stand it would not shut up.