FALLON: Tina will be playing the role of New York City, and I will be playing the role of you.
FEY: All in all a pretty hilarious news
week. The Bush Administration released the newest Osama bin Laden tape
which if you haven't seen it, it is kind of like a cross between a boring
wedding video and every nightmare you've ever had. It's a fun video, rent that one.
Israel and Palestine -- getting worse and worse every day. These people hate each other so much they are fighting over a piece of land the size of a Wendy's. They're fighting over a piece of land so small that they can only have an above ground pool on it. They're fighting over a piece of dirt so little, if it was in your salad you wouldn't even send it back.
And then on Wednesday, George Bush pulled out of the 1972 Anti-Ballistic Missile Treaty, a decision Russia is calling a 'big mistake.' But it's not a mistake, 'cause we've got that cool Missile Defense System. That thing’s ready to go, right? No? It's not? They haven't invented it yet? They can never do it? It's impossible? Great.
Then, they found more anthrax in Washington in a place they had already 'de-thraxed.' I guess they're not as good at cleaning out the 'thrax as they thought they were. Good thing we never had any anthrax in this building. Oh, wait, we totally did! So anyway, I'm going to sleep now. Goodnight. Back to you Jimmy...”
TRACY MORGAN: Thanks, Tina! You're looking good, as always. We will talk
about that at the party, because you make my heart beat, girl!
FEY: With security tightened at U.S. airports, many travelers say that
security pat downs are too intimate and intrusive,
and are going too far, even among flight crews. One stewardess reported that,
while being given a pat down, the hand of the female security guard cupped her
breast, then lingered there before slowly moving down to explore her hard, taut
belly. She became flushed as the woman's hot breath filled her ear, while she
slipped her other hand under her skirt, meandering up her thigh, until she found
what she had been looking for ... [cut to Please Stand By sign]
FALLON: Wow, that was a great joke. . .
FEY: Don't touch me anymore.