FEY: Bush says that he kept the story of his arrest secret because he felt it did not set a good example for his daughters, preferring instead that they see him as a failed businessman who executes people.

FEY: Following the premature release of a controversial 'Esquire' interview, an angry Bill Clinton told reporters, 'I was promised faithfully that the interview would be released after the election and I believed it.' Yeah, that's crazy, isn't it, Bill? How some people can look you right in the eye and lie to you like that? Bill? Ah, I talk a good game, but I'd still make out with him.

FEY: This week Brad Pitt was voted the Sexiest Man Alive by 'People' magazine but unfortunately, he may lose the title in the Sexiest Man Electoral College.

FEY: During a ceremony at a Holocaust memorial in Jerusalem this week, German Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder accidentally extinguished the memorial's eternal flame. The embarrassed chancellor immediately apologized, telling Jewish leaders, "Mein bad."

DRATCH: Jimmy Fallon, will you marry me?!
FEY: Okay Jimmy, what will your answer be? Lorne is waiting to officiate the wedding should you choose to say yes.
FALLON: Wait, Lorne's a minister?
FEY: Eh, he's a ship's captain.
FALLON: I can't marry you..I just got Playstation 2, it's very time consuming.